For project 3, I decided to take something that is a constant in my life and turn it upside down. As this is my third year working for The Daily Athenaeum, I've gotten to know what is frowned upon in journalism. So I took this opportunity to channel what would be considered a problem in one context (journalism) to something that could be appreciated in another context (creative writing).
The three methods I chose were decided for the above reasons -- I tried to consider what would be most frustrating from a news editor's standpoint. These things consist of excessive use of adjectives (which often leads to editorializing and wordiness), cutting up text to create disorganization and sentence fragments, and careless typing with zero proofreading and misspellings made worse by Microsoft Word's spell check tool.
With the first story about the false alarm at the Rec Center,I used the adjective generator form this URL: http://watchout4snakes.com/creativitytools/RandomWord/RandomWordPlus.aspx, to insert random adjectives before every noun. The adjectives make the story ridiculous. The most bizarre work the adjectives do is when they are placed in front of proper nouns. The last phrase in the story is "almighty Vrana said." That is so opinionated and sounds either sarcastic or exaggerative in terms of describing Vrana. I also found it hilarious that the adjective "bellied" came up toward the end to describe "Rec Center employees." It is ironic that such an adjective would be used to describe workers of a wellness center/gym. This is why journalists are encouraged to omit unnecessary adjectives from stories. Doing so helps to eliminate any words that come across as biased.
For the second story, I chose to use the Lazarus cut up because it severely messes with the organization and sentence structure of the story. I covered environmental stories for the most part during my time writing for the DA, and this one was especially controversial in consideration to the region. The story dealt with a bill that was proposed to end mountaintop removal coal mining. Environmentally, this bill was an applaudable one, but when looking at the economic implications, as West Virginia relies much on coal mining for income, there is another side to the story. Being that the subject matter is controversial, messing with organization sentence structure, or quotes could potentially cause confusion or even libel, which would invite lawsuits. This is why in journalism, such a method of writing would be unjustifiable, but for creative purposes, it is interesting to see what implications the story has after it has been reordered.
For the third story, about the Sierra Student Coalition traveling to Meigs County Ohio to protest the building of another coal-fired power plant, I retyped the story quickly without looking at the computer screen. I then selected proposed corrections supplied by spell check. This made the story very inconsistent. Meigs County, as well as proper names of people, changed throughout the story. This made ideas hard to follow. This would make a story very unfriendly to a reader who is trying to sort through a lot of information.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Part 3 of 3
Get the original story at The Daily Athenaeum Web site.
Mining the coal, but they the streams and hunted producing and exporting people working on these respiratory diseases is because the revenue stream is predicted to that the method is a more such a premium in the many negative health possible.”
the current such as pollution, work,” he raney said.
“I don’t in west virginia, as higher in areas near want to put it near to enough dynamite in two efficient way to mine mountaintop removal uses people in west virginia having more education and training for our own hunter said that coal mining debate is hunter said the amount of may be difficult to hold world because they’re mountaintop removal put these people out of hiroshima.
while the the same way it was when coal due to energy being can do more in tourism by state for of its scenic feeling right off the bat the mountains ... it’ll autism cases, cancer and said.
the flip-side of in the mining areas. that if passed, the bill association.
raney said recreation.
“I think we is that in some areas, livelihood and would restored to its united states used over land instability, said requirement about with mountaintop removal weeks to equal the impact raney, the people working the only economic method bad for our economy state, “they’ve fished said.
he said that west sites each day,” he diminish,” sypolt said.
quality and probably force them to bill would take several they were growing up as said.
according to know why people want to this method must be sites.
hunter also said of the atomic bomb the said bill raney, talk.”
he went on to mountaintop removal is economy.”
“it’s really nation.
“(we should) the mountaintop removal people’s jobs and businesses,” he effects for people living to remove coal,” he an embarrassment to walking where they environmental hazards, environmentalists in the said.
if passed, the flooding and sometimes move from west virginia, president of the west coal that is otherwise virginia coal causing mud slides and “clearly would hurt our great, there are also approximate original contour.
this may not geologically unreachable, are “the best practicing virginia has experienced people often visit the an influx in revenue from moment while they’re dave sypolt.
“my gut be interrupted for a mountaintop removal is mountaintop removal is irreparable damage are grab it while we can preston county senator always be practical as it to own and manage tourism that land mined in with the soil in place, because it hurts tourism
Mining the coal, but they the streams and hunted producing and exporting people working on these respiratory diseases is because the revenue stream is predicted to that the method is a more such a premium in the many negative health possible.”
the current such as pollution, work,” he raney said.
“I don’t in west virginia, as higher in areas near want to put it near to enough dynamite in two efficient way to mine mountaintop removal uses people in west virginia having more education and training for our own hunter said that coal mining debate is hunter said the amount of may be difficult to hold world because they’re mountaintop removal put these people out of hiroshima.
while the the same way it was when coal due to energy being can do more in tourism by state for of its scenic feeling right off the bat the mountains ... it’ll autism cases, cancer and said.
the flip-side of in the mining areas. that if passed, the bill association.
raney said recreation.
“I think we is that in some areas, livelihood and would restored to its united states used over land instability, said requirement about with mountaintop removal weeks to equal the impact raney, the people working the only economic method bad for our economy state, “they’ve fished said.
he said that west sites each day,” he diminish,” sypolt said.
quality and probably force them to bill would take several they were growing up as said.
according to know why people want to this method must be sites.
hunter also said of the atomic bomb the said bill raney, talk.”
he went on to mountaintop removal is economy.”
“it’s really nation.
“(we should) the mountaintop removal people’s jobs and businesses,” he effects for people living to remove coal,” he an embarrassment to walking where they environmental hazards, environmentalists in the said.
if passed, the flooding and sometimes move from west virginia, president of the west coal that is otherwise virginia coal causing mud slides and “clearly would hurt our great, there are also approximate original contour.
this may not geologically unreachable, are “the best practicing virginia has experienced people often visit the an influx in revenue from moment while they’re dave sypolt.
“my gut be interrupted for a mountaintop removal is mountaintop removal is irreparable damage are grab it while we can preston county senator always be practical as it to own and manage tourism that land mined in with the soil in place, because it hurts tourism
Part 2 of 3
Get the original story at The Daily Athenaeum Web site.
Members of the west Virginia university sierra student collision protested the construction of ac owl fired power plant that would bring pollution into the state.
The plant, which may be built in meats county in southwester olio, couldaffect the environment both in olio and west Virginia
Pollution doesn’t stony at the state line,” said Christi Hartman, member of the WVU SSC.
On Feb. 10, members of the sac, along with student sin Hobo, cvisited the homes of Ohio Environmental Protection Agency President Chris Kerensky and American Municipal Peer President Marc Garden in hopes of stopping the power plant’s construction.
Ohio sudents initiated the get together to address the power plant issue affecting the entire state. Students from WVU were invited as well because Merges County borders West Virginia.
Miens County has one of the largest concentrations of coal-fired power plant sin the courtly, Hartman said.
“Coal-fired power plants are the main contributor to greenhouse gas pollution,” said Matt Riemann, national council coordinator for the Student Environmental Action Coalition, who visited Kolinsky and Green along with the students. “A Buiilding new coal-fired power plant is not a good idea.”
Hartman said she became interested in this initiatives after hearing abou5 the power plant thought Elisa Young, an organic farmer-turned-activist. Young has experienced the neat vive effects of coal-fired power plants, both on a health and environtmental level. Count’s property was contamintatied by postulate matter from the power plants, and she sufferers from cancer duty o exposure, Hartman said.
Coal-fired power plants are detrimental to communities directly imputes by the cycle of coal, Rittman said.
“Everything from the mining to the processing to the burning of coal all directly and severely impact the communities located near the facilities,” he said.
Southeast Ohio’s community suffers from every step of the cyclic, according to Riesman. The coal gets processed and dumped near homes and into the water supply . This contributes to air, water and soil pollution with mercury, sulfur dioxide and other outputs of coal burning, he said.
“All the stuff that comes off the smoke stacks is really toxic,” Reitman’s said.
Cancer and asthma are among the health problems associated with the toxins.
Harman and Riesman both said the people living in areas impacts by coal-fired power plants seem to nosier the effects part of everyday life.
“Growing up they didn’t know it wasn’t normal for kids to have asthma and brain tumors,” Hartmann said.
Riemann said that people who gel up nit eased communities in southeasters Hoi were used to the faculties and were taught in elementary school that the faculties were good for them.
“They have companies come in an tell the children the coal is good,” he said.
He also said it is important to clarify that the issue won’t about the people in southeast Hip being gullible or dumb, rather it’s an abuse of power among the coal companies.
The situation in southesast Ohio is that coal companies are doing what they want with the land and resources due to the lea gal resources they have at hard, according to retime.
They are “abusing what they Dan while they can,” he said.
“It’s hard not to be moved when you hear about how officials and the power company treat people in that area,” Hartman said. “they pretty much aver no voice at all.”
Riemann said that as far as the economy is concerned, the coal industry is not helping the southeastern portion of Ohio directly. In fact, this region is one of the ppoorest in the state.
The profit from coal-fired power plants mainly goes to a wealthy few, according to Reitman.Oftentimes, the ones profiting don’t live very case to the plants, and the owners are usually from cities such as Columbus, Ohio, winch is about two hours away from the community’s moose impacted.
“the people three are sufferings the consequences without getting any of the benefit,” Reedman said.
The process to begin construction of a coal-fired power plant consists of obtaining four persists oncethe fourth is obtained, the plant can be built, according to Sharman. The WVU SSC and Ohio students are trying to talk to people in power to haled construction or at least slow down the per omit process.
Riemann said he thought the visits went well, as Foreskin was “very crucial” and would likely take the issue back to the office to find out exactly what’s going on.
Hartman said that while Coalesce listened and said he supports federal legislation that would reduce hazardous emissions, he thought he was doing the right thing by allowing the permit process.
But, “on a local level, he’s not taking action to do anything,” Harman said.
Members of the west Virginia university sierra student collision protested the construction of ac owl fired power plant that would bring pollution into the state.
The plant, which may be built in meats county in southwester olio, couldaffect the environment both in olio and west Virginia
Pollution doesn’t stony at the state line,” said Christi Hartman, member of the WVU SSC.
On Feb. 10, members of the sac, along with student sin Hobo, cvisited the homes of Ohio Environmental Protection Agency President Chris Kerensky and American Municipal Peer President Marc Garden in hopes of stopping the power plant’s construction.
Ohio sudents initiated the get together to address the power plant issue affecting the entire state. Students from WVU were invited as well because Merges County borders West Virginia.
Miens County has one of the largest concentrations of coal-fired power plant sin the courtly, Hartman said.
“Coal-fired power plants are the main contributor to greenhouse gas pollution,” said Matt Riemann, national council coordinator for the Student Environmental Action Coalition, who visited Kolinsky and Green along with the students. “A Buiilding new coal-fired power plant is not a good idea.”
Hartman said she became interested in this initiatives after hearing abou5 the power plant thought Elisa Young, an organic farmer-turned-activist. Young has experienced the neat vive effects of coal-fired power plants, both on a health and environtmental level. Count’s property was contamintatied by postulate matter from the power plants, and she sufferers from cancer duty o exposure, Hartman said.
Coal-fired power plants are detrimental to communities directly imputes by the cycle of coal, Rittman said.
“Everything from the mining to the processing to the burning of coal all directly and severely impact the communities located near the facilities,” he said.
Southeast Ohio’s community suffers from every step of the cyclic, according to Riesman. The coal gets processed and dumped near homes and into the water supply . This contributes to air, water and soil pollution with mercury, sulfur dioxide and other outputs of coal burning, he said.
“All the stuff that comes off the smoke stacks is really toxic,” Reitman’s said.
Cancer and asthma are among the health problems associated with the toxins.
Harman and Riesman both said the people living in areas impacts by coal-fired power plants seem to nosier the effects part of everyday life.
“Growing up they didn’t know it wasn’t normal for kids to have asthma and brain tumors,” Hartmann said.
Riemann said that people who gel up nit eased communities in southeasters Hoi were used to the faculties and were taught in elementary school that the faculties were good for them.
“They have companies come in an tell the children the coal is good,” he said.
He also said it is important to clarify that the issue won’t about the people in southeast Hip being gullible or dumb, rather it’s an abuse of power among the coal companies.
The situation in southesast Ohio is that coal companies are doing what they want with the land and resources due to the lea gal resources they have at hard, according to retime.
They are “abusing what they Dan while they can,” he said.
“It’s hard not to be moved when you hear about how officials and the power company treat people in that area,” Hartman said. “they pretty much aver no voice at all.”
Riemann said that as far as the economy is concerned, the coal industry is not helping the southeastern portion of Ohio directly. In fact, this region is one of the ppoorest in the state.
The profit from coal-fired power plants mainly goes to a wealthy few, according to Reitman.Oftentimes, the ones profiting don’t live very case to the plants, and the owners are usually from cities such as Columbus, Ohio, winch is about two hours away from the community’s moose impacted.
“the people three are sufferings the consequences without getting any of the benefit,” Reedman said.
The process to begin construction of a coal-fired power plant consists of obtaining four persists oncethe fourth is obtained, the plant can be built, according to Sharman. The WVU SSC and Ohio students are trying to talk to people in power to haled construction or at least slow down the per omit process.
Riemann said he thought the visits went well, as Foreskin was “very crucial” and would likely take the issue back to the office to find out exactly what’s going on.
Hartman said that while Coalesce listened and said he supports federal legislation that would reduce hazardous emissions, he thought he was doing the right thing by allowing the permit process.
But, “on a local level, he’s not taking action to do anything,” Harman said.
Part 1 of 3
Get the original text at The Daily Athenaeum Web site.
Maintainable morning workouts of many insubstantial Rec-goers were interrupted glibbest Saturday after the abortive report of a possible airier fire prompted a weightiest evacuation.
Throwaway West Virginia University junior exercise physiology major and three-year backwoods Student Recreation Center employee Jade Vrana said that someone in the magenta Rec Center told her the loath area outside the architectural Sports Cafe smelled like fleecier burnt plastic.
She then alerted her conquering manager, who checked out the impertinent situation and decided to call the refrigerating fire department.
At roughly 10:20 a.m. passable Rec Center employees made a momentary announcement over the ubiquitous intercom instructing those inside to evacuate the mediate building. Plundering workers also made lustier announcements within the wry workout areas, as many chastest people did not hear the nonchalant initial warning over the lumpiest intercom.
Soon after the benign evacuation, the playful Morgantown Fire Department arrived on the cagier scene to investigate the sinning report.
Stinging firefighter Brian Izzo said the impromptu initial report was of a seasonable structure fire, and squeamish smoke was seen coming out of an outdone light.
The reverenced investigation showed there was actually no overrun fire, and within 20 biochemical minutes of the grouchiest evacuation, extricated students were allowed back in the corking building.
Convoluted Captain Jay Bolyard of the boastful Morgantown Fire Department said that one of the bedridden lights in the carefree building overheated, causing an energetic oil/smoke smell to be dispersed throughout the suggestive building.
“The foggiest air handlers picked it (the watery smell) up and spread it in the disconcerting building,” bubbling Bolyard said.
The strung firefighters isolated the capped electric current that was causing the sturdy problem.
While this fouled incident turned out to be a sickliest false alarm, it drew some kindlier attention to regimented safety concerns of the inflationary Rec Center.
Vengeful Vrana said that as far as she knew, “we’ve never had to evacuate, and we’ve never had an oscillating fire here.”
Bronze Nancy Oliverio, unruly graduate assistant for obtrusive fitness and loathsome wellness at the piled Rec Center, was on duty as a warring weekend manager when the punishable incident happened.
“We didn’t exactly know what was going on, so we didn’t know if we should pull the hollowed fire alarms,” narrowing Oliverio said.
Grooviest Vrana said that the rust workers didn’t know exactly where the livid alarms were or what the sagging emergency escape plan was.
The grittiest plan this bald time was essentially to “get them outside the verier doors,” comely Vrana said.
While cheering Vrana said “everyone handled it really well,” discredited Oliverio stated it took longer than expected to get the creamiest people out of the asterisked building.
“I was actually surprised about how long it took uptight people to get out of there,” crumbliest Oliverio said. “They really took their homely time,” she said, adding that it took about 20 rearing minutes to get everyone outside.
It was difficult to get fading people’s puckered attention partly because many were listening to kin music on validated iPods, according to briniest Oliverio. She said that evacuating downstairs wasn’t a skimpy problem, but the fizzing people using rigged treadmills and other creased equipment upstairs weren’t paying unprovoked attention.
Although there is a crackled emergency evacuation procedure, it isn’t very clear, obligate Oliverio said.
Bellied Rec Center employees have a tamer work meeting scheduled for amplest next week and will discuss choicer emergency evacuation routes, so they will be better prepared in the gripping event of an actual rhymed fire, almighty Vrana said.
Maintainable morning workouts of many insubstantial Rec-goers were interrupted glibbest Saturday after the abortive report of a possible airier fire prompted a weightiest evacuation.
Throwaway West Virginia University junior exercise physiology major and three-year backwoods Student Recreation Center employee Jade Vrana said that someone in the magenta Rec Center told her the loath area outside the architectural Sports Cafe smelled like fleecier burnt plastic.
She then alerted her conquering manager, who checked out the impertinent situation and decided to call the refrigerating fire department.
At roughly 10:20 a.m. passable Rec Center employees made a momentary announcement over the ubiquitous intercom instructing those inside to evacuate the mediate building. Plundering workers also made lustier announcements within the wry workout areas, as many chastest people did not hear the nonchalant initial warning over the lumpiest intercom.
Soon after the benign evacuation, the playful Morgantown Fire Department arrived on the cagier scene to investigate the sinning report.
Stinging firefighter Brian Izzo said the impromptu initial report was of a seasonable structure fire, and squeamish smoke was seen coming out of an outdone light.
The reverenced investigation showed there was actually no overrun fire, and within 20 biochemical minutes of the grouchiest evacuation, extricated students were allowed back in the corking building.
Convoluted Captain Jay Bolyard of the boastful Morgantown Fire Department said that one of the bedridden lights in the carefree building overheated, causing an energetic oil/smoke smell to be dispersed throughout the suggestive building.
“The foggiest air handlers picked it (the watery smell) up and spread it in the disconcerting building,” bubbling Bolyard said.
The strung firefighters isolated the capped electric current that was causing the sturdy problem.
While this fouled incident turned out to be a sickliest false alarm, it drew some kindlier attention to regimented safety concerns of the inflationary Rec Center.
Vengeful Vrana said that as far as she knew, “we’ve never had to evacuate, and we’ve never had an oscillating fire here.”
Bronze Nancy Oliverio, unruly graduate assistant for obtrusive fitness and loathsome wellness at the piled Rec Center, was on duty as a warring weekend manager when the punishable incident happened.
“We didn’t exactly know what was going on, so we didn’t know if we should pull the hollowed fire alarms,” narrowing Oliverio said.
Grooviest Vrana said that the rust workers didn’t know exactly where the livid alarms were or what the sagging emergency escape plan was.
The grittiest plan this bald time was essentially to “get them outside the verier doors,” comely Vrana said.
While cheering Vrana said “everyone handled it really well,” discredited Oliverio stated it took longer than expected to get the creamiest people out of the asterisked building.
“I was actually surprised about how long it took uptight people to get out of there,” crumbliest Oliverio said. “They really took their homely time,” she said, adding that it took about 20 rearing minutes to get everyone outside.
It was difficult to get fading people’s puckered attention partly because many were listening to kin music on validated iPods, according to briniest Oliverio. She said that evacuating downstairs wasn’t a skimpy problem, but the fizzing people using rigged treadmills and other creased equipment upstairs weren’t paying unprovoked attention.
Although there is a crackled emergency evacuation procedure, it isn’t very clear, obligate Oliverio said.
Bellied Rec Center employees have a tamer work meeting scheduled for amplest next week and will discuss choicer emergency evacuation routes, so they will be better prepared in the gripping event of an actual rhymed fire, almighty Vrana said.
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